FundamentallySound Blog

As I look out at the tarmac and see the giant British Airways 747, as night falls at JFK international, I can't escape the feeling that I have been starved of travel for the past year. For several reasons, mainly monetary ones, I've just been passing my time in San Francisco. It is a city that I do love but one in which it is far too easy to just, well, do whatever it is that people do in San Francisco, like drink, talk, watch movies, drink more, work on a novel, and so on and so forth. But that little city is a comfortable bubble that never seems to pop, come dot.com boom/bust or anything else. Granted, there is some special music happening there, people there making music that is as interesting as what's happening around the rest of the world, in my opinion.

Have I said that I'm happy to be leaving America? If not, let me just make sure that point is clear. I see america as a very young country, it has a lot of the benefits of being so young like its vivaciousness and belief that it can live forever. But it also has a lot of the problems, it acts without thinking and it's awkward and kind of stupid and gets nervous and panicky really easily. And its acne scars don't seem to be going away.

For me it comes down to a simple fact. I am simply much more comfortable and at ease in Europe than I am in America. That's what I really want, a feeling of ease and focus. And I often just feel bored in America, it's a country that would rather spend its money on bombs and cars than trains and art. People in this country think in such a short-sighted and greedy manner. And if I see one more low-carb advertisement at the grocery store...

Sometimes I wonder if my feelings about America will change, will I learn to appreciate it more later in life. For now I am in no rush to do so. I'm happy to be leaving, even if it's for a few short weeks. Someday I'll figure out the trick to living where I really want to live, rather than settling for less. But, for America, San Francisco is not such a bad place, really. It's just not as it good as it should be.